Search

My first daughter is a walking ray of sunshine. She wakes up happy and bubbly every day with energy that I can only dream of. She is loved by teachers, classmates and makes friends easily. But from a very young age, if I asked, "How was school today?" she would never care to answer. I realized quickly that the question was too broad, and I needed to ask in a different way to get answers, so instead I started asking: Was everyone kind to you? My goal with that question was to really ask, "How were your interactions today?" Since a three year old would not understand the word "interactions" but understood kindness, I revised the question. She understood and very quickly developed her own Likert scale of very kind, kind of kind and not so kind with hand gestures to match when she did not feel like saying much. This would then allow me to ask the who, what, when and/or why to get down to some of her issues. By asking such a simple question, we have had such meaningful dialogue. It worked so well that I kept it up and my second daughter quickly learned what was being asked. The conversations can go from being downright funny, to spilling the classroom tea, and the positive and negative interactions of the day. It really gives the girls the opportunity to unload the stressors of the day. We are able to revise how they can advocate for themselves, our rules on how we should expect others to treat us and how to set clear boundaries. They have become quite adept in handling most situations to the point where my younger daughter who has been dealing with a kid who sometimes says unkind things to her—and pretty much all the other students—recently became very intent on telling me, "Mom, you don't need to talk to my teacher yet. I can handle it. I will be brave and keep speaking up for myself." I was so proud of her in that moment. She showed that she wants to try to solve situations on her own with classmates as a first step. She also knows that if it escalates, we can revisit the situation and handle appropriately. Free and open dialogue will always be a win in my book. How do you ask your kids about their day?

I will start by saying that Trader Joe’s has almost 10 years of commitment from me, so I know just about every ingredient in that store. I’m not stopping any time soon, even though their 19 cent bananas have now gone up to 23 cents. I noticed it as soon as the change was made and before the 20 percent uproar, but like every committed Trader Joe’s shopper, “Imma stick beside them.” I will say this, no matter what Trader Joe’s I enter, the cashiers and staff are all kind. I’ve never had a bad interaction and I always kept an eye out for a few people. Kindest staff ever and you can always get help. With that said, let’s get into this meal. Like I have pointed out in prior posts. You’re in luck today, I have portions to my ingredients. Ding, ding, ding! Serving: 4 Time: 30 minutes Ingredients 1 packet penne rigate or rigatoni 1 or 2 container(s) of sweet Italian sausage (depends on how much meat you like) 2/3 medium sliced sweet peppers Handful or more of spinach 1 tbsp oil 1 cup pasta sauce 1/2 cup dairy heavy cream/vegan heavy cream 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup pasta water Shredded cheese *optional and if your choice Directions Start cooking pasta per the instructions on the package. Stop the boiling 3 minutes prior to the recommended time. If 12 minutes is suggested for cooking, cook for 9 minutes. Always set a timer. While the water is boiling, slice the sweet peppers and remove the casing from the sausage. Heat a medium/large pot on medium to high heat. Pour in oil and place the sausages in the pot. Use a fish slice to separate the meat to create a slightly finer texture. Mix when necessary to prevent sticking to the pot. When all the meat is brown, add in the sweet peppers and spinach. Mix it in and allow to cook to the desired texture. By then the pasta should be done and drained saving about 1/2 - 1 cup of the water. Add in the pasta sauce, heavy cream, milk and the pasta water to the sausage mixture. Mix thoroughly. Then add the pasta and allow to cook for 3 minutes covered or to your desired texture. Allow to cool. Serve and grate cheese if desired. Bon appetit!

Having skin where I don’t need to wear makeup was the ultimate dream since I was twelve. I have dealt with acne from my teen years and as a woman in her thirties, I am tackling skin care on two fronts—acne and aging. Over the years, I have developed confidence in my beauty, and it has been great finding products that work on the exterior, while I work internally. These are the products that have done wonders for me without breaking the bank. Daytime regimen Cleansers For someone like myself who has been dealing with acne since I was twelve years old, I have been through a lot of skin care products. With that said, I still can't decide which of these washes are the best, so I use them all. I alternate, depending on what my skin needs that day or week, and how much hydration that my skin needs. They all provide the right amount of hydration. All three of these products are excellent. Tip: When washing, I alternate between use of my hands, or a washcloth. I know there are lots of products on the market for applying cleanser, but I go with using a cotton washcloth in a gentle circular motion. Rinse and dry in between use. Toner You can't beat Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial. This toner is great on cost and it gets the job done. It contains real Damask rose water and Damask rose oil (to bedew and moisturize), witch hazel (to balance and tone), and a bit of Quillaja saponaria (soapbark) extract (to soften and condition). I love this product. Serums Hyaluronic acid and vitamin C complement each other, because they protect, hydrate and help in repairing aging skin. The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% and Sephora Collection: Ultra Glow Serum together help my skin look more supple and more youthful. The results are astounding and show change within days of use. Niamicide can be called the liquid gold of skin care. It is a water based vitamin and mineral that has a brightening effect. The Odinary Niamicide 10% + Zinc 1% is an excellent product. It conflicts with vitamin C, so on the days you use niamicide, ditch the vitamin C and just use hyaluronic acid. Moisturizer For UV protection and a great primer for makeup, I turn to The Ordinary: Mineral UV Filters SPF 30. It does the job of protecting my acne prone skin while providing my skin with amazing antioxidants. Nighttime For nightime, I follow my cleanse and toner routine above and add The Ordinary Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion or in Squalene. This water-free solution contains a 2% concentration of an advanced retinoid active complex called Granactive Retinoid. They are excellent for ant-aging. The emulsion is great for colder months, because it provides the hydration, while the squalene is more lightweight and great for hotter months. Moisturizer This lightweight moisturizer is excellent for night time use and daytime. It's the final touch providing non-greasy hydration. It don't always use it on the granactive retinoid in emulsion, since it is so rich, but you can if you feel you need extra moisture. I literally glow when I am done with this routine and there is a noticeable difference in my skin. I hope this can be a really useful guide. Skincare is really trial and and error and paying attention to what your skin needs. Share a bit on your skincare journey and the products you use. (Photo of Granactive in Squalene from Katelyn Dupre, Trader Joe's Rose Water Facial Toner from Cubicle Chick)

From an early age, I taught my daughters to not yuck anyone’s yum. “No thank you” will suffice over negative comments and judgment. What a person eats is between them, God—if you believe—and/or their doctor. Food is never used as a reward of any kind. That means, if you did not eat all your dinner, you still get dessert if it’s dessert night. There will be no convincing or coercing at meal time. They are also always in full control of what goes in their stomachs, because I offer, you eat. It’s as simple as that. The last thing I want to do is argue about food with children. I will lose even before it start. Therefore nothing makes me cringe more than adults, loudly discussing or dissecting every food choices of fellow colleagues whether it is solicited or not. When this happens, more often than not, I find that people are outwardly recreating the negative internal dialogue that they have with themselves. Maybe I am biased and privileged, because I was lucky to have been raised by a mom who encouraged good eating habits without ever attaching guilt or shame to my choices. Imagine what that does to a person who grows up seeing someone in their household who probably did every diet, forced them on a diet or spoke of that person’s body in negative terms. We have unfortunately moralized food choices. The people who enjoy an occasional or daily processed snacks are deemed as destroying their bodies and placed on a lower totem pole compared to people who maintain a vegetarian or vegan diet etc. Now these are the people who “care” about their bodies. They are supposedly ethical, moral and environmentally conscious ones who are considered one of the “good people” without factoring in motivations. How did we get there? Well, no thanks to diet culture, we are developing a starving and malnourished population by choice, many of whom are impressionable teens and young adults trying to emulate what they see in popular culture. When you have the WSJ posting articles titled “To Save Money, Maybe You Should Skip Breakfast,” it comes off a very tone deaf. In 2021, more than 34 million people in the United States live in food insecure households, a decline from 38 million in 2020. Of those, 9 million are children. It even shows that a staggering 53 million people turned to food programs in 2021. We will try to achieve an ideal at any cost and do it all by being tone deaf. Maybe the WSJ had to meet the demands of one of their advertisers and attached it to being fiscally responsible. I’m not sure, but they most definitely were speaking the language of diet culture. This is simply body policing and food shaming in the workplace, whether we want to admit it or not, and it has no place there. These conversations can be triggering for people with eating disorders and body issues, especially when you cannot just casually leave your desk and refuse to work till the conversation is over. It’s the equivalent of the dreaded Christmas and Thanksgiving family dinners where family members feel the need to make unsolicited comments about your plate. So the last thing I want to hear from your cubicle is how you think that slice of cake will destroy your thighs, how you’re on a liquid diet for the sake of getting your summer body, and I surely don’t want you to ever come to my cubicle to criticize my lunch, because guess what, “I didn’t ask you.” If you’re going to keep it up, do it quietly with willing participants. Don’t subject us all to this. Workplace discussions of diets need to stop, because we’re tired.

Recently, I checked into this blog’s drafts, and it was sad to say that there about 80 unfinished blog posts starting from the year 2020, all waiting to be written. I was shocked by number, but even moreso, I kept asking myself, “What happened?” and what other things in my life are incomplete? In a world of major responsibilities—career, parenthood, side hustles, etc—and people telling you that you are not doing enough, it can be so easy to become overwhelmed. There may be bigger issues at play like being a woman bearing a lot of the mental load of a relationship while caring for two very young children during a whole pandemic, going through a divorce and unresolved chronic procrastination, perfectionism and impostor syndrome that reared its ugly head. Wow. That list was long. No wonder I have almost 80 unfinished blog posts. No matter how many productivity apps I used, none of them made up for the fact that 24 hours wasn’t cutting it at that time. But now that I am in a better space, the question is, what are my next steps? What are the steps for people who start on a high, but abandon ship like the Titanic for whatever reason. Commit Before you get to creating a plan. Make a binding agreement with yourself that you will execute whatever plan you establish. The first thing I said to myself was “I have to do better." From there, you can start creating a plan that meets the SMART criteria. Create a plan “A goal without a plan is a wish.” No truer words have been spoken. Seeing things in writing serve as a reminder, allow you to visualize and also help you remain accountable to yourself. Otherwise as a parent nearing 40 with two young children, get one kid to interrupt me from the kitchen to the bathroom, and I forget everything. So I encourage you, write everything down. Whether you’re doing this digitally or old school with a pen and paper write down each goal and all the steps needed to achieve it. Be Accountable Remember that agreement you made to yourself, do your best to stick to it. Hold yourself accountable. Don’t fall into the trap of procrastination and excuses. Absent of crises, stick to your goals because nothing feels better than finishing what you started. How many things have you started in your life and not finished? What are you doing to complete them?

There is so much beauty in this life. Unfortunately, amidst life's chaos and the loudness of the season, it is easy to feel deflated and uninspired. Here are 10 motivational quotes to uplift and guide you through the messiness of life. 1. "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and positive change. 2. "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." - Maya Angelou Empower yourself by choosing how you respond to life's challenges. 3. "The only way out is through." - Robert Frost Face challenges head-on; sometimes, the journey through adversity leads to strength and resilience 4. "Every problem is a gift—without problems, we would not grow." - Tony Robbins Shift your perspective and view challenges as opportunities for personal development. 5. "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lou Holtz Reflect on how you handle challenges, and consider adjusting your approach for a lighter load. 6. "Difficulties in life are intended to make us better, not bitter." - Dan Reeves Find the silver lining in tough times and let them shape you into a stronger, wiser individual. 7. "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb Understand that challenges refine and bring out the best in us. 8. "Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt Maintain a positive mindset; your belief in yourself is a powerful force. 9. "No shortcuts exist to the top of a palm tree." - African Proverb Focus on your goals and recognize there are no shortcuts to success. 10. "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" - Mary Anne Radmacher Understand that resilience often comes from the quiet determination to keep going, one step at a time. You have the tools to navigate through challenges with grace, resilience, and a positive outlook. Remember, you've got this!

In a world driven by the relentless pursuit of productivity, incorporating the principles of slow living and anti-productivity into home organization might sound like a paradox. However, achieving a harmonious balance between tranquility and organization is not only possible but can profoundly transform your living space. Let’s explore practical ways to infuse the essence of slow living and anti-productivity into your home organization endeavors. Start by adopting a mindful approach to decluttering. Instead of rushing through the process, take the time to assess each item’s significance. Ask yourself whether it aligns with your values and contributes to a peaceful living environment. Letting go of unnecessary possessions can be a cathartic experience, creating space for what truly matters. 2. Intentional Storage Solutions: Slow living is about intentionality, and this extends to your choice of storage solutions. Instead of opting for purely utilitarian options, select containers, shelves, and organizers that resonate with your aesthetic preferences. The act of organizing becomes more meaningful when it aligns with your personal style and contributes to a visually pleasing space. 3. Create Zones for Presence: Designate specific areas in your home where the principles of slow living can flourish. Whether it’s a cozy reading nook, a meditation corner, or a family gathering space, these zones should encourage mindful presence and relaxation. Infuse these areas with elements that bring you joy, fostering a sense of tranquility. 4. Mindful Maintenance: Slow living isn’t just a one-time overhaul; it’s a continuous practice. Incorporate mindful maintenance into your routine. Instead of viewing cleaning and organizing as chores, approach them as opportunities for presence and reflection. Enjoy the process, and let go of the need for perfection. 5. Rethink Time Management: Anti-productivity doesn’t mean abandoning all forms of structure. Rather, it involves rethinking your approach to time management. Create realistic schedules that allow for pauses and moments of reflection. Embrace a flexible mindset that prioritizes well-being over a constant need to achieve. 6. Balance Routine and Spontaneity: Slow living is about finding a balance between routine and spontaneity. While organization thrives on structure, leave room for unplanned moments. Allow your days to unfold naturally, and don’t be afraid to deviate from the schedule when it feels right. This balance can bring a sense of freedom and joy to your daily life. 7. Cultivate Gratitude: Slow living encourages gratitude for the present moment. As you organize your home, take time to appreciate the journey and the positive changes you’re making. Cultivating gratitude can enhance your overall well-being and infuse your living space with a positive energy. Integrating the principles of slow living and anti-productivity into home organization is a transformative process that goes beyond mere tidiness. It’s about creating a living space that resonates with your values, promotes mindful presence, and fosters a sense of tranquility. By infusing intentionality into every aspect of organization, you can achieve a harmonious balance that elevates both your living environment and your overall well-being.

As we commemorate Black History Month, it’s essential to recognize and celebrate the contributions of Black people, in the realm of the home. While the field of organizing may not always receive the recognition it deserves within historical narratives, Black people have long played a significant role in promoting order, efficiency, and well-being within their homes and communities and that of others who can afford their services. We’ll explore the intersection of Black culture and home organizing, highlighting the rich traditions and innovative approaches that have shaped this vital aspect of daily life. Honoring Tradition: The Legacy of Homekeeping in Black Culture Throughout history, Black communities have demonstrated a deep reverence for the home as a sanctuary and a symbol of resilience and pride. From the practices of tidying and cleaning passed down through generations to the creation of sacred spaces that reflect cultural heritage, homekeeping has been a central aspect of Black family life. In many households, the art of organization is imbued with cultural significance, representing not only practicality and efficiency but also a connection to ancestors and traditions. Empowerment Through Order: The Transformative Power of Home Organizing Home organizing goes beyond mere aesthetics; it is a transformative practice that empowers individuals to take control of their environments and enhance overall well-being. For Black individuals and families, organizing the home can be a form of self-care and resistance against systems of oppression that seek to diminish their worth and agency. By reclaiming space, decluttering, and creating systems that reflect their values and priorities, Black individuals assert their right to live in environments that nurture and support them. Cultivating Community: Sharing Knowledge and Resources In addition to its individual benefits, home organizing within Black communities fosters a spirit of collaboration and collective empowerment. Through informal networks, community organizations, and social media platforms, Black organizers share tips, resources, and encouragement to support one another in their organizing journeys. These spaces provide opportunities for mentorship, skill-building, and advocacy, amplifying the voices of Black organizers and challenging stereotypes about who can excel in the field of organizing. Looking Ahead: Celebrating Diversity and Inclusion in Home Organizing As we celebrate Black History Month, it’s crucial to recognize the ongoing contributions of Black organizers and advocates to the broader organizing community. By centering diverse voices and experiences, we can create a more inclusive and equitable field that reflects the richness and complexity of the human experience. Whether through honoring cultural traditions, advocating for social justice, or promoting sustainable practices, Black organizers continue to inspire and lead the way towards more organized, harmonious, and empowered communities. This Black History Month, let us celebrate the legacy, resilience, and creativity of Black people in the realm of home organizing. To further show support, follow some of these experts on social media. By honoring tradition, embracing empowerment, cultivating community, and championing diversity, we can create spaces that reflect the beauty and strength of Black culture while fostering greater harmony and well-being for all. Together, let us continue to organize, uplift, and empower one another as we shape the future of home organizing for generations to come. (Photo: Woman at home - Eva Katalin, Women talking - The Brooklyn Ink, Multiple Organizers - Ehow)

Do you ever feel like you're living in a sitcom, but instead of laughing, you're just trying to survive your 9-to-5? My life has at many times felt like an episode of "The Office" meets "Survivor." Here's a glimpse into my hilarious (and sometimes tragic) adventures of trying to navigate stressful work environments: Episode 1: Sounds of Hunger Picture this: It's 7:30 a.m, and I clock in to work just in time to grab documents that I prepared for an early new hire onboarding. I'm starving, but I'm on a tight schedule, so I keep driving for an hour to meet with the new hire—sometimes annoyed I am driving one hour to onboard one person in 2023. On cue, my stomach starts growling while I'm sitting in the room, and I'm just praying that the new hire does not hear any of it. Of course she did, so I say something funny to break the ice. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning, because I'm stuck in there for another 30 minutes. We both just pretend nothing is happening at every growl. Yikes. Episode 2: The Email Avalanche Ah, the joys of modern communication. One minute, you're catching up on emails; the next, your inbox resembles a digital avalanche burying you alive. You're now regretting your life choices and seriously considering homesteading as a way of life, because surely, this cannot be what I dreamt of. I also can't help but wonder: who thought it was a good idea to hit "reply all" to share their grievance about not being invited to a team gathering—drama! And why does the universe conspire to send urgent requests the moment I step away from my desk? Episode 3: The Meeting from Hell We've all been there – trapped in a never-ending and sometimes useless work meeting where you try to appear engaged, while secretly plotting your escape. Whether it's the boss's latest obsession with team-building exercises or a PowerPoint presentation that rivals the length of "War and Peace," every minute feels like an eternity. But then, your supervisor gets to the end and says, "Are there any questions?" I'm holding my breathe in pure terror hoping no one says yes, but then marvel at the audacity of someone to ask a question that makes us suffer even more. For the love of .... Episode 4: The Office Drama No workplace would be complete without its fair share of drama. From passive-aggressive emails or Post-It notes to whispered gossip, navigating office politics is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. Even worse is when you can't help but wonder: is this really what I signed up for? When you're on the receiving end of that behavior, you just have to remind yourself that you're too broke to retire, don't want to be a sugar baby and you have bills to pay, so you report to work as a shy introvert and ignore every one. If it has nothing to do with work, you have nothing to say. Episode 5: The Great Escape I cannot tell you the number of times I have imagined grabbing my purse and jumping from the window with the perfect landing of a super hero, running to my car and driving off. In the end, sometimes the only solution is to make a break for it. Whether it's sneaking out early on a Friday or taking an extended bathroom break to collect my thoughts (and sanity), finding moments of respite becomes a survival strategy. When I clock out for the day, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all – because sometimes, laughter truly is the best medicine. So there you have it: my comedic journey through the wild and wacky world of stressful work environments. I have now taken to working remotely, which still provides endless material for a sitcom-worthy blog post? Cheers to surviving another day in the office, one laugh at a time! Hope you enjoyed the humorous take on navigating stressful work environments! Let me know if you'd like to add anything or if there's a specific aspect you'd like to explore further. (Photos: Feature photo by Jess Shoots/Unsplash , Graphic Photo by Aaron Blanco Tejedor/Unsplash)

This is hands down one of the best chicken dishes I have made, but if you're looking for the recipe, I am not your girl. I am a free spirit in the kitchen when it comes to cooking. I have no rules and it is simply, whatever is in my fridge must work. Ask my partner. Some of my best dishes have been when I really had to improvise. But first, let's all bow down to the cast iron pans that have and will always stand the test of time going from stove top to oven. It is the investment that is worth it, so get yourself a good cast iron even if you have to wait till it's on sale. God knows I love a sale. So for this dish, you will need: Chicken Legs (2-3 pounds) Parsnip (optional) 1 chicken cube/Better than Bouillon Turmeric (about 1/2 tsp will do) Old Bay seasonings Tony's Creole Seasoning Mirepoix: diced onions, celery, carrots Fresh garlic Oil of your choice (1 tbsp for seasoning, and another 1-2 tbsp for cooking) I start by first rinsing my meat. I know there is a lot of debate about whether you're supposed to rinse your meat or not, along with FDA recommendations. Since the FDA doesn't live in my house, I will continue to rinse that meat with vinegar and lemon juice, so as to not upset the ancestors. Their wrath and the potential for food poisoning is worse than any FDA recommendation. Imma stick beside what I said and pass along the wisdom to my daughters. So let's get started. Directions Put your rinsed or unrinsed meat in a bowl. Add all the seasonings and 1 tbsp of oil. Leave out the parsnip for now. Rub the seasonings into that meat to make sure that every nook and cranny is covered. Then, let it marinate for at least 45 mins. In the meantime, slice your parsnip and set aside. Preheat your oven to about 375 degrees. Coat your pan with the oil of your choice and heat at medium high. Put each chicken leg in there making sure that it isn't overcrowded. Cook until skin is browned and there is no more pink on the exterior. Add the seasonings in the bowl to the pan and reduce to medium. After about 15 to 20 minutes add about 1 cup of water and bring to a boil. Place the sliced parsnip in the pan, spreading them apart. Transfer from the stove top to the oven with the lid on. The goal is to get that meat tender. After about 30 mins, uncover and increase the heat to 400 degrees. Cook till golden brown. I hope this helps. You will never get a complaint of dry chicken. That meat will be tender and falling off the bone.