Beyoncé.
I say her name and it either evokes immense admiration, hate or indifference in you. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, you can't ignore her name. With over twenty years in the music industry, she has managed to remain visible and at the tip of the tongues of so many people. But outside of her accolades, when I think of Beyoncé, the words private and fiercely protective are prominent. Ironically, it is these very qualities that make people perceive her as 'closed off.'
With a reputation for being one of the most private individuals in the music industry, there is so much that everyday people can learn from Beyoncé's fierce protection of her privacy. What is also most admirable, is the people who helped create this wall of protection for her from a very early stage in her career. In the Harper Bazaar's September 2021 Icon issue, Beyoncé was asked, "How do you process the changing world of celebrity culture and protect your inner self?"
She responded rightfully so with:
In this business, so much of your life does not belong to you unless you fight for it. I’ve fought to protect my sanity and my privacy because the quality of my life depended on it. A lot of who I am is reserved for the people I love and trust.
There is not one day on the internet that people aren’t out there defaming her character. As little as she gives the public, living such a visible life makes her low-hanging fruit and an easy target "for internet therapists, comment critics, and experts with no expertise." It is amazing how people who have no access to the lives of others can have so much to say without evidence. All they need is a wild imagination, a microphone and a gullible audience. You do not need to be Beyoncé to know what that feeling is like. Whether you live in a small town or a big city, we've all encountered some degree of the psychological abuse of gossip. I know I have.
As the lives of everyday people are being showcased more via social media, this is the time for us to think more about how we protect our privacy and our sanity. Every post runs the risk of unknowingly going viral in a positive or negative way with no ability to control the narrative. The level of intense scrutiny that can come your way will not be on the epic level of Beyoncé, but it can pose immense challenges, especially for people who do not have a public persona or a team to help control what happens. Your life may not have a lot in common with a billionaire performer and you may not sympathize much with her, but this is the perfect time to examine who you are as a person and how you would like to be treated by others you don’t know.
At the very least, on a very human level, we should all have the right to privacy and the ability to maintain our sanity. For those of us who think that she needs to just toughen up or give us as much access to her life as possible, I want you to ask yourself, "Would you allow yourself to be open around people when so many wish for your demise with no valid reason?" and "Would you protect yourself and the people you love from such individuals?" More than likely, your answer would undoubtedly be "No” and “Yes” respectively.
I have been a fan of Beyoncé's artistry for her entire career. I do not consider myself to be part of the BeyHive—a large following of extremely loyal fans who will banish anyone into obscurity who goes against their Queen Bee—but I do empathize with her. I cannot begin to understand what it feels like to exist in her world, but I absolutely understand her strong desire to maintain privacy, because as she stated, the quality of her life depends on it.
The behavior of so many of her haters can be likened to that of stalkers, although I'm sure, many would not consider themselves that. They are the obsessed characters who go out of their way to make their unwanted presence known. Following someone on social media only to disparage their name and character is abnormal, but the sad part is that there are too many people who believe that this should be expected and accepted by celebrities. From being accused of being part of the unusually enlightened and many other allegations. It is no wonder she leads such a private life! All she has to do is exist, breathe and be, and that upsets so many people on this planet. When so much unwarranted hate and vitriol is directed at you, you go into fight-or-flight.
She has chosen to fight back in the most healthy way possible. Beyoncé has given us all a masterclass on how to deal with detractors and haters in our lives. Existing and being in this world takes so much courage. Whether we're talking about Beyoncé or yourself, we all have to protect our sanity and peace. Of all the wild accusations I have heard thrown at Beyoncé, she does not take a moment out of her life to address anyone by confirming or denying anything. The level of unbothered that she displays is epic and highly commendable.
I have a simple philosophy: watch how people talk about celebrities, because it will tell you a lot about their character. And by that I mean, listen intently to how people around you talk about someone they do not know personally. Listen to the assumptions they make.
If they will do that to someone they do not know personally, what do you think they will do to you?
Having also been accused of being closed off at some point or another in my life, I can relate to wanting to keep some people at bay, even when it includes family, who do not add any significant value to my life. It is human instinct to activate self-preservation. Keeping parts of you for the ones you love is how we should all go when faced with relational adversity, because I will know I will lose everyone before I lose my mind.
Photo by Susan Walsh/Associated Press
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