Last year, I decided to move to a beautiful suburb in Albany. What attracted me to Albany was a combination of great schools, the availability of jobs, its location—quick drive to Montreal in case we go full Handmaid's Tale—and access to outdoor activities. Recently, I discovered something interesting about Albany. It was ranked the 7th most unfriendly city in the country and the 13th unfriendliest in the world in 2013 by Condé Nast traveler. It wasn’t a reputation I was aware of before moving, but that wouldn't have deterred me anyway. I am from NYC, so it would take a lot to scare me.
Having been here for a little over a year, I thought by now I would have been able to at least strike up a friendship, but I had no luck until recently. I made the acquaintance of a colleague and we are meeting for coffee this weekend to talk about all things writing and literature. I am so excited.
To be clear, I do have friends. The longest standing ones have been in my life since I was twelve years old. We talk, share videos back and forth that give encouragement, provide humor or help foster real dialogue. I love my girls, but it’s nice to have friendships in a new city where I can call someone to meet up for coffee. As much as I enjoy the company of myself, it does get lonely sometimes here.
Our encounter was inevitable. Have you ever seen someone from a distance and felt such a positive aura from them? That feeling was probably because she reminded me of someone I knew in my past. I happened to have seen her twice in the school library where I work as a substitute teacher before the day we struck up a conversation. It started as a conversation with one of the librarians about the new reading book when she joined. Then we continued talking about books we read. It felt so organic that by the end of what may have been about a fifteen minute chat, we exchanged numbers.
I don’t believe in coincidences, so no matter the outcome, I believe that some people are just meant to be in our lives whether briefly or long-term. I was extremely close to "I need friends" in my mom group like I have seen so many moms in varying situations do. In many ways, I think this points to a bigger issue of adult friendships and how tricky they can be. I am just glad to be forming a bond with someone who shares some common interests.
I will keep you posted on navigating this adult friendship, which I hope blossoms into something beautiful. Maybe at some point, I can host a friendship dinner—something that I have always wished to have.
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