Last night, I laughed so much, I almost peed on my neighbors couch—I blame my weak bladder after having two children back to back. Thankfully, I didn’t and was able to preserve my dignity and his couch.
I have been in upstate New York for almost a year and a half and this is the first time that I have sat across from someone who isn’t my life partner or family. It felt refreshing to say the least, because my neighbor is hilarious. We share an age gap of a little over two decades, but we were laughing like two high school kids with the intellectual capacity and life experience of people over forty, and I loved every moment of it.
We got together briefly at our new neighbor who moved in across the hall from me. I picked up ice cream cups and cupcakes that were left over from a party he and his wife hosted. They were absolutely delightful unlike the previous tenants whose dogs nearly chomped my face off as I exited the elevator.
***
So let’s backtrack. In fall 2023, I was heading to the first day of my new job. When the elevator got to the first floor and the doors opened, two giant pit bulls lunged at me. I was terrified and upset, but I maintained my composure to not spook off the dogs even further. I watched as the previous tenant yanked her dogs back by throwing the full force of her body backward. This was the only way she able to stop the dogs from attacking me. While all this is happening, she says to me, “You’re fine, they won’t bite,” indicating that I should exit the elevator. I did not move a muscle and stayed in the elevator until she cleared my path.
I think I became even more irritated by her words, because I couldn’t believe that someone whose dogs almost bit my face just minimized what was happening. I had never experienced anything like this, so her response was devastating, even as I recall this incident a year later.
The adrenaline rush of it being my first day at a new job did not allow me to fully grasp what happened that morning. It wasn’t until I returned home that the shock really sank in. I realized I was a foot away from possibly being in the intensive care unit. I began typing.
I wrote an email to the property management office and informed them of the incident. Unbeknownst to me, there were already several complaints against those tenants. My neighbors to the left informed me of a meeting with building management that I was unable to attend with several other tenants on our floor. Let’s just say, the irresponsible dog owners are thankfully no longer here and I didn't have to lift a finger. Now, the entire floor is quiet.
***
I first met my dear neighbor who had me in stiches last night when he was having trouble with his fob to enter the building. It turned out it wasn’t his fob, but the door since mine also didn’t work.
He asked, “What apartment do you live in?”
A man asking me what apartment I live in was not going to receive a response. I mentally side eyed him with all my, “Who you talkin' to?” energy bubbling in me. It's so hilarious saying it out loud. It took a bit more talking with him to realize that I had seen him around before, though we hadn’t been formally introduced. I finally told him and realized he was a door down from me. We said our good byes and went to living our lives.
***
About a few weeks later, we exchanged numbers. He gave off such good vibes from that first interaction that I wanted to get to know him more. I learned he lived in NYC for quite a long time. We have the same vibe of being circumspect when it comes to new people in our lives. Then a couple weeks ago, during a conversation in our hallway, I threw caution to the wind and decided to ask if he wanted to get together for some wine and conversation. I was proud of myself for doing that, because I was convinced I would leave this residence without saying more than "Hi" to anyone who lived there. He took hold of my olive branch in the most sincere way and there we were last night having an over hour long conversation. We are just two city souls looking to connect.
He is a riot. We have a similar sense of humor and we understand each other. I appreciate and value this so much, because I am making friends of my own—not mom friends who I gathered so many of while living in the city. What a wonderful opportunity it was to sit and kiki with my neighbor. We got along like old friends catching up in the most organic way. There is so much to appreciate with this growing friendship especially being in a new city and having to start over again. I am realizing that the increasing distance between neighbors here in upstate New York requires me to be more intentional with creating new friendships and building community—unlike New York City.
Armed with a new level of boldness, I am happy that I am getting a bit more comfortable with asking for a coffee meet up or a lunch date after feeling comfortable with a person. I don't want my only friends to be the trees I hug on my hikes so I am excited to have more days like this.
Photograph of yellow roses symbolizing friendship
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